New standards

So of course, growing up, I, as every other little Mormon girl, was raised to look for an RM, with high standards-which would be displayed by his avoidance of the very appearance of evil: no swearing, R-rated movies, crude jokes, or anything of the sort. Basically, some super-human perfect Mormon man.

As I have grown older, gotten more experience, and changed...I have VERY much changed my opinion of whom I want to date and marry. I no longer want someone perfect. My abusive, jerky stepfather did meet all of these supposed requirements. My grandfathers, both of whom I have always loved and admired as spiritual giants, wonderful fathers, and the most caring wonderful people I knew...would not. My dad, whom I love more than anyone else on this Earth, would not. My big brother, (ok...my FHE brother whom I have adopted and plan to have be my brother FOREVER), whom I adore, respect, and practically hero-worship, would not. The boys who did meet these requirements would not accept my family as they are. They would not accept me. I occasionally make crude jokes. I've watched rated R movies. I'm not opposed to watching more. I've been surrounded by swearing even in Pocatello, Idaho enough that it doesn't bug me at all. I don't cringe. Not at all. Violence I will not watch in movies...because I'm such a softie that it makes me sick. Sex...can bother me if it shows anything, but most movies really don't.

Anyway, back to my point, my new standards require someone who loves me, and someone who genuinely loves Christ and the Church. I want someone who can take me through the temple, but I don't care if he watches rated R movies. I don't care if he didn't serve a mission. I don't care if he swears once in a while. What matters to me is what he is. Not what he does.

I want someone that loves me, that I love, and someone that deserves my love. I want someone I can respect. I know from experience that I want someone that wants to be happy. I want...the person that Heavenly Father wants me to be with.

I don't feel like my standards have lowered at all. I don't feel like I expect less of a man than I did before. In fact, I expect more. I want him to be a good person, not just act like one. I feel like my standards have raised. I won't turn a man away because he served a mission, or doesn't watch R-rated movies, and doesn't want to make crude jokes. As long as he doesn't mind me making a few, and as long as he doesn't judge my family at all. Because the second he does...he is OUT. My family is, and always will be, the most important thing I have.